I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
They took my balls.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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