you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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