Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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