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That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize