She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize