just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
it glows. i had to have it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
