I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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