Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
