my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
