no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
