I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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