That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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