Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You ate ashes out of my bong
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
