i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
