I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
