she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
