how can u be prego again
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize