i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
