Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
