I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
