Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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