I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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