Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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