you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
