and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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