I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
