yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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