do herpes really smell.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
