i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This show inspires me to have sex in space
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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