how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
