it glows. i had to have it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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