would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
