Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
