I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
