is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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