once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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