yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
