There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
