I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize