Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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