So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
