if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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