whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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