Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
