remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
