I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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