That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
