Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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