You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
