I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
