im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my sisters under your porch take her home
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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