Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
