Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
