True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
