At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
