I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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