Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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