i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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