Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
