I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
