This is not my ceiling
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
