Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So vagazzling was a success
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
