Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
