Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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