I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
