Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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