I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
false alarm, still single
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
