Banned from zoo.
Again?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
