I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize