is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
