Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
